Well, we did it. Thanks to my good friends Angela and John Chaperon, we moved all of my stuff out of the out-of-home office. I hadn’t been back there much at all since I had my breakdown and I was pretty stressed, thinking I was going to meltdown. But no, we unscrewed desks with Allen keys, carted load after load down those shocking stairs to my car and Angela’s van. It is done. I am ever grateful to Angela and John for their help and support, I love you guys heaps.
Moving everything out of that office is like the final layer of completion for me. It’s like the last thing I had to do to end the stage of my life where I was in business for myself. Sitting here writing about it, it feels good, but I’m sure the meds have something to do with that.
I loved my clients, with very few exceptions. I loved helping them in their businesses, and that was the most rewarding thing about the work I did, seeing other people succeed and grow and move closer to the person they wanted to be, running the kind of business they wanted to run. Every consultation I did mixed personal wants and needs with business dreams and goals. It always seemed to make sense to me that what a person most wanted for themselves should have been evident in the way they ran their business.
I’m still tempted to write a book about that, giving anonymous examples of business people realising that the way they were doing business had almost no relationship to the goals they’d set out to achieve by being a business owner. Maybe I could call it What I Taught About Business Before My Breakdown.
I’m happy to be sitting here eating a peanut butter sandwich, ready to write another chapter in my book. I’m glad that I was wrong about today, that it feels more like moving forward than grieving for a past I couldn’t handle. I’m at peace with myself in this moment. I hope there are many more moments as clear and level as this one. I know I’ll enjoy being me a lot more if I can accept the present, the way I am today.
be you xx Rachel